Master Talk
The term “master talk” refers to any statement of a universal, authoritative or unquestionable truth. Examples include “Everyone knows that . . . “, “Experts agree that . . .”, and “It’s obvious that . . .”
I recently experienced master talk and was struck by the intensity of my response as well as the many layers of my reaction. I got curious enough to do a little internal exploring. This is the story of what I found.
I had facilitated a meeting and in a small group debrief afterward, there was mention of a method I had used and felt was successful. A colleague's response was, “We’ve had several consultants tell us that method never works.” It didn’t occur to me in the moment that this was master talk, though it was.
What I was aware of in the moment was a visceral feeling of being shut down and judged. My sense of success and accomplishment vanished, and I entered a mental space in which my method was no longer valid. Effectively I was telling myself that my experience and expertise were meaningless because “real experts” said I was wrong. The most insecure part of my psyche was activated and the internal voice said, “You don’t know anything.”
While all of that was going on inside, I honestly can’t remember whether I said anything in response or where the conversation went after that.
My next remembered awareness is of defensiveness. By this point the debrief had ended and the conversation was all in my head. I found myself reclaiming my competence and looking for ways to dismiss the so-called “consultants”. I told myself they were talking about a different kind of organization. Their values and goals were clearly different than mine and those of the group I had been facilitating. They were the ones that didn’t know anything about this situation.
It was in this very defensive mindset that I realized the statement had been master talk, but I still wasn’t ready to get productive in my thinking. I simply glommed on to the term “master talk” to levy judgement on my colleague for having made a statement that I found upsetting. Most of a day had passed and I was still stewing about feeling shut down and belittled by someone who should have known better.
Somewhere along the next morning, I began to get curious. I thought about master talk and that it may be more common in our culture than I had realized. I had been taught that it was something to be avoided in collaborative spaces and it seemed that what I was experiencing was an opportunity for learning about myself, about the broader culture and about who I want to be as a facilitator and a human.
On reflection, it seems to me that what I felt most of all was powerless and that my instinctive response was to reclaim my power by putting someone else down. Because I suspect others may have similar reactions, it is a useful learning for me to be very conscious of my own potential to use master talk and to change my habits.
Another, perhaps more important, learning for me comes in answer to the question, Who do I want to be in the presence of master talk? Certainly there are times when I have a role that allows me to name, discourage and reframe master talk. I have opportunities to educate and help others become aware of the impact master talk can have.
The most challenging space, however, is within my own being when I experience that feeling of powerlessness in response to master talk. Here I want to remember the lessons of reflection. While I want to honor my awareness of my feelings, there is no need to tell myself the story that I am powerless. Instead I hope I can learn to tell myself that my perspectives are valued and valuable from within the safety of my whole sense of self. I hope I can listen for whatever wisdom has come my way, even if it arrives in wolf’s clothing as master talk. It turns out that those consultants might have had a point.
Yes, it would have been easier for me to hear that perspective if it had been offered in more inclusive language, but in the end that is outside my control. My opportunity is to accept what is offered and learn as much as I can.
No one said the lessons of self reflection are easy. I imagine I’ll trip over this one a few more times before I get good at living in the learning space. Meanwhile, I’m grateful for the learning that has come my way. One more step toward being my best self for myself and my community.
I recently experienced master talk and was struck by the intensity of my response as well as the many layers of my reaction. I got curious enough to do a little internal exploring. This is the story of what I found.
I had facilitated a meeting and in a small group debrief afterward, there was mention of a method I had used and felt was successful. A colleague's response was, “We’ve had several consultants tell us that method never works.” It didn’t occur to me in the moment that this was master talk, though it was.
What I was aware of in the moment was a visceral feeling of being shut down and judged. My sense of success and accomplishment vanished, and I entered a mental space in which my method was no longer valid. Effectively I was telling myself that my experience and expertise were meaningless because “real experts” said I was wrong. The most insecure part of my psyche was activated and the internal voice said, “You don’t know anything.”
While all of that was going on inside, I honestly can’t remember whether I said anything in response or where the conversation went after that.
My next remembered awareness is of defensiveness. By this point the debrief had ended and the conversation was all in my head. I found myself reclaiming my competence and looking for ways to dismiss the so-called “consultants”. I told myself they were talking about a different kind of organization. Their values and goals were clearly different than mine and those of the group I had been facilitating. They were the ones that didn’t know anything about this situation.
It was in this very defensive mindset that I realized the statement had been master talk, but I still wasn’t ready to get productive in my thinking. I simply glommed on to the term “master talk” to levy judgement on my colleague for having made a statement that I found upsetting. Most of a day had passed and I was still stewing about feeling shut down and belittled by someone who should have known better.
Somewhere along the next morning, I began to get curious. I thought about master talk and that it may be more common in our culture than I had realized. I had been taught that it was something to be avoided in collaborative spaces and it seemed that what I was experiencing was an opportunity for learning about myself, about the broader culture and about who I want to be as a facilitator and a human.
On reflection, it seems to me that what I felt most of all was powerless and that my instinctive response was to reclaim my power by putting someone else down. Because I suspect others may have similar reactions, it is a useful learning for me to be very conscious of my own potential to use master talk and to change my habits.
Another, perhaps more important, learning for me comes in answer to the question, Who do I want to be in the presence of master talk? Certainly there are times when I have a role that allows me to name, discourage and reframe master talk. I have opportunities to educate and help others become aware of the impact master talk can have.
The most challenging space, however, is within my own being when I experience that feeling of powerlessness in response to master talk. Here I want to remember the lessons of reflection. While I want to honor my awareness of my feelings, there is no need to tell myself the story that I am powerless. Instead I hope I can learn to tell myself that my perspectives are valued and valuable from within the safety of my whole sense of self. I hope I can listen for whatever wisdom has come my way, even if it arrives in wolf’s clothing as master talk. It turns out that those consultants might have had a point.
Yes, it would have been easier for me to hear that perspective if it had been offered in more inclusive language, but in the end that is outside my control. My opportunity is to accept what is offered and learn as much as I can.
No one said the lessons of self reflection are easy. I imagine I’ll trip over this one a few more times before I get good at living in the learning space. Meanwhile, I’m grateful for the learning that has come my way. One more step toward being my best self for myself and my community.
Oh the discomfort of self reflection and the words of others that rattle my confidence. I really identify with the inner talk you describe. Well said. Thanks for the topic.
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